There are certain times in every couple’s life when their relationship changes in a major way. Sometimes the change can be welcoming, sometimes it can turn your life upside down in ways you never thought possible. The important thing is to be prepared for the unexpected, even when you’re expecting it!
Having a Baby – Let’s face it, for a woman who has just had a baby and is getting many sleepless nights, the last thing she feels is sexual, and the last thing on her mind after changing dirty diapers is intimacy. Try to be understanding. New babies quite often mean the loss of one income for a period of time or less money, if one person goes back to work part time. Either way, feeding, clothing, and providing for the beautiful bundle of joy that has just arrived — with less income — can mean a strain on even the best of relationships.
Living with Others – Whether they are from his side or hers, doesn’t really matter. If, for whatever reason (financial issues or your friends’ need of somewhere to live), you find yourself living with other people, this can have an impact on your relationship. No longer are you able to chase each other nαked around the living room or leave the door open when you go to the toilet. And having a noisy sëx life is completely out of the question! You may begin resenting the other people in your lives and take your frustrations and resentments out on your partner. If this is the case, work a way around having your own place or own space as quickly as possible.
Job Loss – In today’s economy, losing one’s job can be quite a real possibility in certain sectors. When someone loses their job, they may feel a loss of confidence and power. Especially if they were the main provider of the household. Their ego has taken a beating and they have lost their security. If this happens, make sure you reassure them that you still find them attractive and important. It’s easy for people who lose jobs to spiral into a dark place.
Any Financial Crisis – Money issues can be the number one problem in a relationship. So, it is no secret that anybody suffering a financial crisis would find their relationship changing in some way. The key to getting through this tough financial time is to work together. Don’t try and shoulder all the responsibility yourself. You’re a partnership.
Retirement – if one of you is lucky enough to be able to enter into retirement, you may find that things suddenly change. If you’ve been at home or working part time all these years, while your partner has been working full time, you may find your routine needs to change to accommodate having someone else around constantly. This also a time for understanding. Suddenly having all this spare time on your hands can throw you out of your routine if it’s you entering into retirement. It’s a new phase in your lives and you need to take the time to redefine yourselves. Have an open conversation about what is going on in this new phase of life and where you would both like it to lead to.
Having to Care for your Partner – If a partner comes down with a long term illness, whether it is physical or mental, the stress of caring for the other person can lead to all sorts of issues in a relationship.
Changes will occur in your relationship that you may not even be aware of. There will be more people in your house trying to support you, you could suffer financially, or if you are the one with the illness, it may be difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel, especially if the road to recovery is a long one. The subjects of sëxual and emotional support need to be discussed.
No matter what your life changing event is, happy or sad, it’s important to address it in your relationship. Communication is the key and commitment to a long term relationship can help you overcome any change in your life. If, as a couple, you do not feel that you are able to cope with what is happening in your life, then it’s important to seek outside help.
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