Confidence
Confidence is the foundation where everything starts. It’s a point where it tells the girl that this guy is sure of himself, he knows what wants, and is capable of leading her to experience new things.
a) When I mean “sure of himself,” I mean that when you decide to make a decision, you stick by this decision with full force thinking: “this decision is right.” Of course
you’re not going to be “right” all the time and may even get lost, which is fine as long as you can confidently say “I Don’t Know.” Or, “I’m going to check the answer by going X or reading Y or etc…”
Yes, many guys think that you have to be perfect and know everything; wrong. If you can own up to your mistakes and be confident enough to admit them, then you differ from a lot of other men: most men don’t admit their mistakes and/or if they do they express their mistakes in a very submissive way.
Remember though, a confident man who makes a mistake, always learns from his mistake and does something about it.
b) Please don’t over think “he knows what he wants,” because it doesn’t necessarily mean you that should hold a steady career or have an exact plan for your life; instead it means that you have an idea (ideas) that you’re ready to experiment.
It is this experiment or this drive to push forward with these ideas that will lead you to figure out what you really want. For example, if one of your “wants” is to make money then by pushing yourself to make a business, find a job, go to school to learn about business, whatever… shows the girl that you’re doing things to figure out what you want.
You may not know this, but fuck, when I was 17 I thought I wanted to be a firefighter and then after training I realized it wasn’t for me: now I know that being a firefighter is something I don’t want in my life.
A man that pushes himself forward, to try and figure out what he actually wants in life, is a man that is confident. However, this point comes with a stipulation: you better have a stronger idea of what you want after the many experiments you undertake, a girl isn’t attracted to guys who are dreamers (not a sign of confidence).
c) When I say “leading,” I mean the ability to push the girl to follow your moves. For example, if you’re an ambitious man who wants to be a Yo-Yo champion, then show her your practice room and your many collections of Yo-Yos (and upcoming competitions). Then, ask her and learn about her ambitions in life.
When you do this, you’re leading or qualifying her to make moves with you. And, if she really begins to like you she will herself show you her ambitions in life (or start one). This also goes for jumping in a pool or trying a new spicy dish, lead her to follow suit.
Remember, I’m not saying “FORCE” I’m rather saying SHOW by “LEADING.”
Lead with confidence, make her believe that she can follow your steps.
Emotionally Aware & Coherent
Girls love guys that not only are aware of her emotions, but also can show their emotions coherenly. I have too many girl-friends who have complained that their guy is too stoic, or too happy, or too sad, or just too manic… You have to be able to play all emotions and express them coherently.
For example, if she is crying and breaking down, it would be fucking stupid of you to start making jokes. Or worse, be stoic to a point where it seems you don’t care. It be best to hold her, shut the fuck up, and empathize with her but also being coherent: strong.
Then, you can then start making light jokes once her emotions start to die down. It’s called being aware of your surroundings. No, this doesn’t mean you wait for the girl to express emotion and then you follow suit…
most of the time you should be leading the interaction (being jovial & excited about things) … it just means you know how to react to her emotions.
Lastly, girls love a guy who can act out all sorts of emotions: anger, sadness, excitement, etc… you need to be able to coherently enough to show all of them, throughout your time with her, however too much of any will just hurt you.
An emotional balancing act.
Listening & Providing Help
A guy who she can depend on when it comes to decision making, is a guy she’ll love. But, how do you do this? It’s called LISTENING & EXPERIENCE. As in, the more you get out there and interact with people, try new things, read, and staying active – the more you’ll be able to obtain the necessary information to deal with a whole lot of situations.
Then, when you LISTEN and OBSERVE her moves is when you’ll be able to provide such information. Many guys give too much advice when they themselves have yet to experience it, or fucking worse, when they don’t provide the proper suggestion because they didn’t listen to her in the first place.
You can’t always talk about yourself…
Ending Notes
Saying the word “baby steps,” or “tomorrow” is not going to get a girl to love you. It is crucial for your life to START NOW and begin experimenting on what your life can be. This is more than just making a girl love you, it’s about changing your life to becoming a better man.
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